this is the sign you've been waiting for

when i got into college i was so excited to finally enter a world where i got to choose what i wanted to study. i thought my four years at scripps would give me the kind of independence and understandings that were neglected in lower education. there are actually a lot of things i experienced during my two years at scripps that i'm extremely grateful for. for example, i loved being surrounded by a diverse community of womxn who were so passionate and intelligent. i had some of my best feminist conversations and made some of the realest friendships i've ever known.

however, the more time i spent in the "claremont bubble," the more i became aware of a harmful subculture existing on the claremont campuses. the overemphasis of grades and other objective measurements of "success" was driving me, and a lot of my peers, to unhealthy distractions and coping mechanisms. a week of unfulfilling busy work for classes i was unpassionate about necessitated a weekend of partying, sustained by substance abuse, that would inevitably cause me to blackout the stress endured throughout the school week. drinking was a socially acceptable nightly coping mechanism across the five campuses that fueled a hookup culture so pervasive that it caused self-objectification: i began viewing myself as a sexual commodity to be distributed. consent was blurred by alcohol, pills, and powders, and i no longer saw my own sexual reservations as a valid reason to terminate a hookup. 

aside from the dangers of drug abuse and an overwhelming hookup culture, a plushy college education doesn't incentiviZe students to learn how to do a lot of things on their own. a required meal plan insures that students never have to learn to cook. a dedicated cleaning staff insures that students never have to learn to take out the trash or clean up after themselves. living in dorms, we don't have to worry about paying monthly rent, taking care of utility bills, or searching for a place to live. school jobs also don't practice hiring/firing practices that replicate normal jobs that adults seek post-higher education. in most of my classes, the tasks that were assigned to me mostly consisted of time-wasting busy work like filling out answers to problem sets that already came with an answer book. real-life work doesn't come with an answer key.

despite the luxuries that allowed college me to exist in a world with completely different rules than post-college society, i understand why higher education is the right choice for many people. for individuals who want to succeed by following a more conventional 9-to-5 working lifestyle, college is the only socially recognized and accepted path to follow. however, those who aren't satisfied with this kind of life are often perceived as lazy or incompetent for their decision not to pursue a full college education. for me, a degree means nothing because i don't want to work the kind of job that requires a loaded resume and expensive education. it didn't take many jobs before i realized i couldn't work for someone else. by dedicating a majority of my time and energy to an education requiring a ridiculous volume of busy work i didn't believe in, i was setting myself up for this kind of future. for anyone like me who is interested in starting a business or pursuing something creative, please don't wait until you finish college to pursue your dream. no one - not your family, peers, or teachers - can live your life for you, so they shouldn't get to have any say in what you do with it. if you know you're unhappy with the direction your life is headed, take this as the sign you've been waiting for.

if you're not working toward your dreams right now, you are actively working against them.

i know i'm not the only one that feels this way.

oh, and if it feels like you have no one on your side, like the world is telling you that you can never succeed, that there are too many variables, too many people trying to make it... reach out to me. let's talk about it.

xo,

hannah